So, some things.
No, I have not had the baby yet.
But we're getting close.
While everyone is focused on Christmas and all the stress/planning/cheer that brings, I have been thinking more and more about how close my due date is (the 27th, for those that don't know). Christmas does not even compete with the knowledge that a baby will soon be gracing my household.
I haven't done many of my normal Christmas-y things, like bake a million cookies or constantly listen to Christmas music or try to figure out how we're going to hit all 5 family Christmases (including hosting one) in 36 hours. And while the house is decorated, we definitely scaled it down this year. No lights on the roof, only the must-have and easy-to-put-away ornaments are on the tree, and I haven't even watched A Christmas Story yet.
Instead I have been doing an incessant amount of laundry and dragging my feet through the whole nesting process. Mainly because it's all so overwhelming.
And tonight I am finding sleep elusive because I have my 39 week OB appointment tomorrow. The appointment where I am told whether or not I am getting induced before Christmas. And I am less stressed about the possibility of holding my new baby a week early than I am about the fact that my husband's vacation doesn't start until Christmas day and I want him to be there every moment of that first week. Which, if I go into labor anytime before Sunday, is unlikely to happen since he's working two separate calls this week, including a 24 hour shift Christmas Eve. And while his schedule could be shifted to a degree, time he misses will need to be made up during the actual vacation, which means I am either a) at home without him with a very, very newborn infant, or b) I am at home without him with a week old infant.
Unless I don't get induced until next week and don't spontaneously go into labor before then. In which case most of his vacation will be spent at the hospital. And then when we get home he will have another 24 hour call on January 2nd, and I will be right back in the position of (b).
I realize that this is all very first-world-problem material and I have no right to complain due to the support I get from my husband and family. I understand that as long as I have a healthy baby it will not matter when she is born. But to my tired, pregnant brain, this all seems like too much to take in and I can't make the decision to go for it or to wait it out.
And I really don't want to be that girl in the office tomorrow that tells her doctor, "Well, I'd really appreciate it if we could wait to have this baby because otherwise it will really throw off my schedule..."